


A Day That May Not Come Back

by BlackViper127



Category: Gintama
Genre: Multi, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:49:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25919125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackViper127/pseuds/BlackViper127
Summary: A one-shot for ZenSachi pair that took place right after the Shogun Assassination arc
Relationships: Hattori Zenzou & Sacchan | Sarutobi Ayame, Hattori Zenzou/Sacchan, Hattori Zenzou/Sarutobi Ayame
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot takes place right after the Shogun Assassination Arc, but before the Silver Soul Arc. I wanted to write something about this a long time ago but have not been struck by inspiration. Hope everyone will enjoy it! My first attempt at one-shot.

"I'm just a sinner dyed in my friend's blood."

The painful words had been uttered, piercing against her stomach like that samurai's sharp sword. Silence sank in heavily and she could only hear the soft crunch of the grass when he walked through them on his crutch. The steps he took were slow and awkward as they seemed. She clutched her elbow tightly, like what she would do when in pain. An emotional pain, on top of the physical one that had not eased off.

If witnessing his pain brought one to herself, she wondered how much he must have been suffering, having been the one bearing the guilt of killing his friend. Yet, even if he were, he would just take it all in and quietly endure it by himself, preferably in some dark corner where no one would see him. He even denied her help when he was on the brink of death from the Kiheitai, but she knew better than listening to his foolish ego speaking. Perhaps this time, too. Though he didn't ask for a word of comfort or a listening ear, he probably needed it the most right now. And she needed it as well.

Following his footsteps, she could already guess where he was going to. The pathway had been etched in her mind like carving stone. This was their favourite hang out spot when they were children. He liked to climb to the old tree in the middle of the grass field, finding a branch that gave him the most comfortable backrest and laying there to read his Jump magazine. She, on the other hand, loved sitting at the foot of the tree and gazing at the sky, maybe getting a power nap or two. Together, at the same place, they had trained the young shogun how to throw a kunai and other basic ninja lessons.

This time, he did exactly what she used to do, no more reading Jump. The shadow of a dead friend was probably still hovering over his head too much to enjoy the manga. He just quietly sat there, leaned against the tree trunk and looked up at the sky.

"Care if I join you?" She approached without waiting for an answer to her question and made herself comfortable seated next to him.

He did not reply or even turn around to acknowledge her presence. She didn't mind that. No matter what he said, she would still do what she wanted anyway.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" He whispered, looking towards the direction of the sun that was halfway down at the reddened horizon. Down below, the fireflies had started wandering about with their tiny sparkling bodies. She replied in a soft hum.

Upon seeing such beautiful scenery, she regretted that she no longer came here as an adult. Life had gotten in the way that made her completely forget about the places and the people with whom she grew up. A part of her assumed this place would still be here, that friend would still be around forever, and they could have gone back to the day where they were truly happy if they wanted to. But now, the absence of a sweet clumsy friend meant it would never be the same as before. What if the next time she came back to this place, it would just be by herself? What if tomorrow war erupted in this country and she could not return here anymore? With the current political situation, it was no longer a paranoid thought.

A bout of vulnerability stroke her and she unconsciously placed her head on his shoulder, as if she needed it to keep herself from collapsing. Her tears were on the verge of flowing out.

"Sarutobi?" There was a hint of concern and confusion in his tone.

"I'm scared, Zenzou…" She said with her hand against her chest. "Scared for the fate of our country… I'm scared that we will never be able to have this day again… the day that we can enjoy each other's company in peace…"

He was quiet. The country of Edo was not what it used to be. He had already sensed the imminent fall of Edo before this whole shogun assassination happened. Though he had been happily out of the political involvement, he resolved to give it one last try to save this country that he called home. But it was all in vain. He should be quitting. No more spying and politics and whatnot. He should just live out his life like a normal person, occasionally delivering pizza and doing freelancing work for some extra cash. Who cares if the country falls into pieces? Ninja are adaptable after all. He would survive, somehow.

But seeing how she longed for peace in this country, he could not ignore the image of that dystopian future. If he could survive by himself only to see those tears-streaked eyes on her face, or his favourite magazine store burnt down to the ground, or his young clairvoyant customer being taken away helplessly, wouldn't it be such a sad existence?

She raised her hand to allow a firefly to land on it. The light at its tail up close shone much brighter than he thought. It was like a symbolic reminder to him that there was still a ray of light in this encroaching darkness.

He knew he had to try again, for the sake of the people he cared about. Surely, he alone could not bring peace to Edo, but that person whom he had faith in, just like her brother, might well be able to. He owed his protection duty to her, after all.

"We will. I promise you."

She was silent but seemed to have calmed down, judging from the slowness of her breathing. It may have sounded like an empty promise, but he was determined to make it happen. He wanted to see her with smiles and laughter, not tears and sadness.

"Zenzou… I don't want to go home tonight…" She whispered sleepily, probably wanted to hold on to her happy place for as long as she could.

He let the sentence sink in for a while and replied. "Me neither."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one-shot takes place right after Zenzou's departure from Edo at the Silver Soul Arc. This will be a continuance to the previous one-shot.

"There you are, Mrs. Sakata."

The flamboyant female ninja slid down from the tree branch above her and quickly settled in next to her colleague at the tree root, and not without hurling the wedding gown she was holding in her hand at the other kunoichi.

"Great training, especially with that grand opening of wearing a wedding gown and making us find Sakata Gintoki." Wakikaoru chuckled.

Ayame barely moved her mouth to smile back at her creative attempt to make the Oniwabanshuu training more fun. Her eyes were seemingly fixated on some distant point in the horizon, and they spoke out a story by themselves – a story that might not be pleasant to hear. Nonetheless, she replied softly.

"Now that Gin-san is not here, training the Oniwabanshuu is also a good way to forget about him."

The tone in her voice was somewhat anguishing that Wakikaoru wondered if Ayame would start crying. But she didn't. Still with those melancholic eyes, she stared blankly at the night sky filled with glittering stars. Next to her, a bottle of alcohol was already emptied and another one was half-full. Wakikaoru gave herself permission to pick up the half-full bottle and take a sip.

"Is it… just about that samurai?"

Perhaps it was the woman's instinct, but a part of Wakikaoru could feel a different kind of pain hidden inside her friend's words. To anyone that meets her the first time, it's rather difficult to take Ayame seriously with all her stalking and sex talk. But to someone who knew her for over a decade, she had learned to look past what Ayame was saying and deeper into her soul. And right now, that soul was hurting.

Ayame sighed and sat up, now shifting her gaze from the sky to the ground, but did not answer the question. Wakikaoru did not push her to speak. It was an indescribable sadness that would take time for her to articulate into words. So, they sat in silence.

"I found Zenzou the other day…"

Eyes slightly widened, Wakikaoru now had her attention on her friend. After the shogun assassination, though Zenzou had fully recovered from his injuries, his emotional wounds had not healed. He slowly withdrew from his duty in the Oniwabanshuu, he withdrew his contact with the Shinobi 5, even the magazine store that sold his favourite Jump was missing a regular customer. His appearance was becoming scarcer and eventually no one was able to find him, except for his next-in-command.

"So that blocking toilet strategy worked, didn't it?" Said Wakikaoru cheekily to lighten up the mood, but Ayame's face remained stoic, as if she was not hearing a word Wakikaoru said.

"He just shrugged off his responsibility to me and left without saying goodbye…" Ayame continued. There was some sulking tone in her voice.

Wakikaoru kept quiet as she decided she should just let Ayame pour her heart out. There was nothing she could say that would alleviate the pain that both were experiencing. The Oniwabanshuu family was close-knit ever since they still had snots on their noses and struggled to hold a kunai tightly. Losing a strong leader was one thing, but witnessing him sliding into a cycle of self-hatred and social withdrawal was a much grimmer reality.

"I couldn't reach him… He was there in front of me, but his true self seemed to be hidden away at some place that I couldn't find…"

That was probably the best description of their feeling towards their leader. He had never been an open book by any means, but now he had become the textbook definition of a shinobi – live and die in shadow and darkness.

Wakikaoru gently rubbed Ayame's arms with a comforting smile, perhaps to replace the phrase 'It's going to be alright' that she felt was too meaningless to say. In return, Ayame leaned against her friend's shoulder as if to share the weight of her heavy heart. For some time, Wakikaoru wondered why they were always at each other's throat while they could have moments of connection like these. Ayame had always covered her vulnerability with a cheerful and loud demeanour, much like Wakikaoru herself. Once they stripped off their coatings, they realized that they're not so different from one another – girls with loving hearts who just wanted to be by the side of their friends when they're hurting the most.

"Why can't he talk to any of us? Aren't we his friends? Didn't we risk our lives trying to save him?" Ayame mused.

"Men don't like to show their weakness." Said the pink-haired ninja. "Not to their friends, not to their underlings, not to the women they love."

Indeed, Zenzou was no exception. He had shouldered the burden of being the Oniwabanshuu leader for years without any physical or mental breakdowns. Being in his shoes right now, Ayame turned to admire how he could have stayed calm all this time, when he had to deal with tremendous pressure from the bakufu officials, when the Oniwabanshuu was disbanded after years of building it up and many of the ninja (including himself) lost their jobs, when he single-handedly conducted his plan to protect Shigeshige.

"They're idiots, aren't they?" Ayame whispered. Wakikaoru lightly nodded in agreement.

"But those idiots will return eventually. Until then, you just gotta be strong."

"I don't know if I can be strong enough for the Oniwabanshuu… I'm feeling lost at times and… I just wanted to see his face and hear him assuring me…" Her voice trailed off and she drifted to sleep.

Right at the moment, another figure dropped down from the tree branch above.

"There you are. I already cleaned up the training ground and…" Gou's speech was interrupted by Wakikaoru's finger on her lips telling him to be quiet and she pointed to a snoozing Ayame on her shoulder.

"What's wrong? Is she okay?" Gou lowered his voice after realizing the situation.

Wakikaoru gave out a long and relieved sigh. "Yes, she'll be alright."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one-shot takes place during the 2 year timeskip in the Silver Soul Arc. This will be a continuance to the previous one-shot.

Lying down on the comfortable back rest at the root of the tree, he found himself looking at the green grass field where hundreds of dry leaves are being rolled over by the afternoon breeze. From this position, he could easily observe the shining sun when it was still bright until it slowly sank down to the horizon, at the same time, the thick leaf layers on the tree helped cool down the temperature, allowing him to enjoy the outdoor atmosphere. Occasionally, the wind brought over the sweet jasmine flower smell to his nose and he would always take a deep breath to savour the moment. Had it been years, but the place did not change one bit. It still brought back the same sense of calmness that he was longing for after a tiring day.

“Mister…”

Hearing a timid voice nearby, he opened his eyes to see a boy of about ten years old standing right next to him with worrying expressions on his face, as if he had got lost from his parents.

“What’s wrong, kid?” He asked softly.

“My friends and I are practicing kunai throwing. You may get hurt if you sit here.” The kid pointed to a group of children around his age standing just a few steps away.

An image of the young shogun popped up in his mind as soon as he heard the words and saw those widened innocent eyes. Shigeshige used to be like that, too, while the other ninja kids were throwing the kunai around without a care in the world. So was the loud kunoichi who always acted as if she was the adult and scolded the entire team for being irresponsible.

“Thank you. I will be leaving soon.” He could not help but give the boy a head scrub for his kindness. “Though you kids shouldn’t be playing with kunai. It’s not a toy.”

“You sound just like her.” Said the kid while scratching his head.

“Who?”

“Normally there’s this lady who usually sits here alone. She’s very good with kunai. She scolded us for playing with them at first, but in the end, she taught us how to use them. She said we reminded her of when she was a kid.”

“She comes here often?” Asked Zenzou after an awkward pause with his eyes glaring down at the grass below. Noticeably, the grass nearby his seat was getting scarce, just like how the grass on a common path eventually made its way for the passengers. She must have sat on this place so frequently that the grass could no longer grow.

“Almost every day.”

The cheerful tone in the kid’s voice slightly lightened up his mood, but it felt like something was twitching his stomach when he thought of her coming here by herself every day. It pained him.

It pained him when she and the Oniwabanshuu went out of their way to find him. They had always been the ones pulling him out of the path of loneliness, forcefully if they had to. Annoying sometimes, but without them, there was nothing worth sacrificing his life for.

It pained him when she just stood on top of a tree branch and longingly looked after his footsteps away from Edo. She did not stop him, but he saw the hurt on her face. He could not even bring himself to look back. He had to go. His mission awaited.

It pained him when she asked if he could have said to her, ‘wait for me’. He couldn’t. He didn’t want her to wait for him. He didn’t want to bring her the agony of waiting for the day he would come back. She deserved more than that.

But she waited for him either way. He never said this to her but he always thought she was more like a samurai than a ninja. She’s loyal to a fault.

“Baka…” He quietly mumbled.

“Is she your friend?”

He did not answer but only stood up and straightened his coat to get going.

“Hey, kid. Next time you see her…”

The kid nodded, anticipating.

“Tell her to wait for me.”


End file.
